The Unfinished Journals of Elizabeth D – Nichole Bernier – Read-a-long

This is part 2 to the read along of The Unfinished Journals of Elizabeth D. Again – SPOILER ALERT and check out Bree’s blog for more discussion!! http://1girl2manybooks.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/the-unfinished-journals-of-elizabeth-d-by-nichole-bernier-read-a-long-discussion-part-2/

PS This probably won’t make much sense unless you’ve been following along – for the first section check out: http://1girl2manybooks.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/the-unfinished-journals-of-elizabeth-d-by-nichole-bernier-read-a-long-discussion-week-1/

and my first post: https://heatherj22.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/the-unfinished-journals-of-elizabeth-d-read-a-long-2/

p201 Max says “Well’ her family isn’t seeing that trunk again anyway unless you make peace with the fact that you can’t control the way she is going to be remembered. What she did is what she did.”

This quote relates to what we were talking about last time – about whether or not her journals should be shared with her children. And I suppose it made me think of other things too – if the journals are an honest account of our lives – why shouldn’t our children/loved ones read them? What are we afraid of that we hide away the true parts of ourselves from those we are closest too? We assume our emotions are unique, that no one else feels the way we do, yet of course everyone has a range of emotions and feelings. Perhaps by reading the journals Elizabeth’s children will be able to better understand their mother, and maybe even themselves and the consequences of their own actions.

From the reading so far it is easy to see ‘blame’ on both sides as to why Elizabeth had an affair (if that indeed is what happened). There were moments where she should have recognised something in Dave – p. 167 “I know this should be telling me something important, something I should be noting carefully… It’s about what you owe to someone who is in a bad way, a pact you made when you enter into a relationship… to see her out of this world as she saw you through it.” And yet she dismissed it, or ignored it and continued on, as though this would not matter at a later date. And then when it did happen, when she got sick and he did not contact her, she still let it pass and took him back afterwards. She knew from the outset what he would be like. Though I guess that happens to us all – there are things we don’t want to see, facts which, if acknowledged, would have led us to make a different choice to the one made. Kate sums this up well: “The effects of your choices might not be clear at the moment they were made. But if you turned back to see where you’d come, there they’d be, the ghost of the path not taken leading to the places you would never go.” p. 172

I no longer feel sorry for Dave, and that’s probably not fair – but I’m seeing him as a weak individual who would rather run from any pain than face it and deal with it and I’m guessing that is what has sent Elizabeth off – again assuming that is what has happened.

I want to know what’s missing from the journal – what pages Elizabeth tore out…

I have to admit, Kate is annoying me with her paranoia – her obsession over what might go wrong. Fear of terrorist attacks in Indonesia, of germs the baby wild rabbits might be carrying. She is so focused on what could go wrong.

And these are some other quotes that really stood out:

“I have to accept that I have no more idea of what happens in the solitary parts of his mind than he has of mine, and wonder if all couples are like this. In love and simpatico in many ways, but ultimately unknowing and unknowable.” p 256

“In the end I go back to that same feeling I’ve always had about confidences. The other person rarely has anything useful to offer and usualy you leave feeling no better, sometimes worse.” p. 258.

“What if all mothers experienced times of hopeless obliteration, and no one told?” p 263